Dear Family and Friends,
I wanted to share something deeply personal with you — something that’s become a very real part of my life right now. As many of you know, I’ve been living with kidney disease since my early twenties. For decades, it was just a quiet fact in the background, something my doctors monitored but that didn’t affect my daily life.
Now, things have changed. My kidneys are failing. My medical team tells me that the best option — the one that offers the best chance for a healthy future — is a transplant from a living donor. The prognosis with a transplant is excellent, and that is the goal I’m working toward in the months ahead. The best process would be a living donor through the Paired Kidney Program. This is very appropriate for people who – like me – are in limbo for a period of months or even a few years before needing an actual transplant.
This isn’t easy to talk about. For most of my life, I kept my diagnosis private — partly because there’s a lot of fear and misunderstanding around it, and partly because I didn’t want to be pitied. But I’ve learned something over the years: sharing our truths can open doors to connection, compassion, and even miracles.
I’ve been encouraged to reach out far and wide, because you never know where a living donor might be found. That’s why I’m writing to you. Not to pressure anyone — I would never want someone to donate unless it felt 100% right for them — but to share my story, in case it inspires someone to explore whether they could be that rare and extraordinary person.
A bit about my journey
When I was first diagnosed, I was newly married and scared. There was little information about my condition, and my husband and I didn’t know how to process what it might mean for our future. Years passed without symptoms, and I convinced myself that my kidneys would always keep going.
But about six years ago, that changed almost overnight. I lost two-thirds of my kidney function permanently, and my doctors told me I would eventually need a transplant. Since then, I’ve been living in that “in-between” stage — stable enough for now, but with the knowledge that things are slowly progressing. I’m now quite literally on the edge of kidney failure.
The past decade brought some of the hardest challenges of my life — losing my dad to Alzheimer’s, caring for my mom through serious mental illness, and serving as Power of Attorney for both parents. The stress took a toll on me, and I believe it accelerated my kidney decline. I’ve learned a lot about how stress and life events impact our bodies over the course of time.
And yet, through it all, my life has been full of love, work I’m passionate about, friendships that sustain me, and a wonderful partner who has been by my side for decades. I’m still practicing as a psychologist, learning new things every day, and even working toward my dream of becoming a decent jazz pianist (my husband’s rock and roll soul just tolerates it!).
Where I am now
I’m doing everything I can to prepare my body and mind for a transplant — personal training, music, yoga, continuous learning in psychology and keeping a positive focus. I have an incredible kidney care team and I no longer let my lab results scare me. I know where this is heading, and I’m ready to meet it head-on.
I also know something else: living kidney donors are some of the most generous, selfless people in the world. I’ve read so many stories of people — sometimes friends, sometimes complete strangers — stepping forward to give someone else a chance at life. I believe in that kind of goodness.
If you’re curious or moved
If you’ve ever wondered about living donation, I’d be happy to share what I’ve learned. Donors don’t have to be related or even a perfect match. It’s possible to live a long, healthy life with one kidney, and donors are carefully screened to ensure their safety. The process is confidential, so I would never know if someone chose to be tested unless they told me themselves. If you’d like to learn more, you can contact the donor nurse coordinator at St. Paul’s Hospital at 604-806-9027 / 1-877-922-9822 or visit either:
BC Transplant website at: www.transplant.bc.ca. or https://www.providencehealthcare.org/en
Whether or not donation is something you’d ever consider, thank you for reading my story and walking alongside me in this journey. Your support — in all its forms — means more than I can ever express.
With love and gratitude,
